Ups and Downs on Santa's Sleigh (Cheerful Poem 6)

Ups and Downs On Santa’s Sleigh

by Angela Lansbury

version 2

Happy Santa’s still on his way

Paid overtime since Boxing Day

Driving his blue-nose reindeer sleigh

To new rich, old poor, childless, gay

Carol singers rapped on our doors

Charity junk mails never pause

Though each claimed they’re a better cause

We’re all in debt to Santa Claus

Driving through the misty sky

Roads blocked by rocks, better to fly

Drones his gift-wrapped parcel post

Vogue nonsense parents love to buy

Leading parades on a music float

Beard hides wrong notes, loved bright red coat

Boards his Noah’s Ark size boat

Circles a moat, gloom’s antidote

Sometimes after New Year’s Day

That old, stretched outfit’s packed away

In January’s delayed snow

To which warm land should Santa go?

When frost mists London’s window panes

Pensioners jet to cut price Spain

Drink with two sunny kings again

Single Mums crowd Sales - don’t complain

You cannot blame poor Santa Claus

If weeks later your gifts seem junk

Good kids are helping Santa rise

Not driving, walked, tripped, what’s he drunk?

He’s stored or sold his grand regalia

Or shipped it off to warm Australia

North in Finland, so I’ve heard

His huskies join migrating birds

Springtime’s better, warmer, wetter

After finishing yule logs, eats venison, or hot dogs

Breeds more huskies or red setters

Answers children’s long dead letters

Next year, learn lessons, no mistakes

We’ll tell him where and we’ll say ‘when’

Give Christmas but not tipsy cake -

Hope dear great grand-dad lives ’til then.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury March 2nd 2015